User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Freddy vs Jason - Epic Rap Battles of History: Season 2 Premiere
The demon of dreams from Springwood, Freddy Krueger, and silent killing machine, Jason Voorhees, rap against each other to see which rival is the more dangerous fictional killer Cast Nice Peter as Freddy Krueger EpicLLOYD as Jason Voorhees |-| Lyrics= 'Freddy Krueger:' Step up maggot head, and face your worst nightmare I'm killer, you should get your ass back to the Fright Fair It's your unlucky Friday when you're messing with Freddy I'm gonna take your machete, and smash your face in the telly So you better be ready before your dreams start turning I'm a boiler, and I've got a gift for burning I'm killing off the cast with style, you're still learning A concerning returning of this vermin, I'm yearning For wording that comes as a challenge to my schemes I got my head chopped off and I'm still in your dreams! I'll drag you under the bed and shred your blood on the sheet You wouldn't even last one night on my street! 'Jason Voorhees:' Calm it down Wolverine, keep your backscratchers off of me Your child-obsessive stalkings are your scariest monstrosities! You're weak compared to Jason, check our fighting film to see That you make me fall asleep, but you still couldn't harm me! You cut yourself for pleasure, killed a hamster, now it seems That you're creeping into houses, giving kids wet dreams! You're softer than Fazbear, and your style ain't groovy What type of killer only lasts for seven minutes in a movie? I'll freeze you like I'm Uber, I'm colder, I'm better! I'll smack your Swiss cheese face out your Elf Yourself sweater! I took Manhattan, and now I'll take your rotten blood! You couldn't do shit if you stepped out of Springwood! 'Freddy Krueger:' You wanna talk crap 'bout the kids and their crannies? Remind me, who slithered up their own sisters fanny? You could never beat this Slasher, resurrecting in the dark How ironic, you're in a forest but you've got no bark! (Ha!) I'll shock you like I'm lightning, striking fear in those who beat you You would never know to kill if your mother didn't teach you! I'm sharper on the mic and I spit Camp Crystal! I could drown your ass with a water pistol! 'Jason Voorhees:' Enough with the jokes, now let's bring in the fright Whilst this bastard madman's bumping kids in the night I'm out killing bigger people than would ever reach your sight You make mocks about the bark, well I've got the bite! (Ooh!) You only kill the kids 'cause you're scared of all the others I've killed more people than your mother's got lovers! So when I'm out on Friday with my mask thats full of fear I'll watch your ass drop faster than your music career! |-| Rap Meanings= 'Freddy Krueger:' Step up maggot head, and face your worst nightmare ("Come on, maggot head!" is a phrase said by Tommy Jarvis when he is daring Jason to chase him into the lake in Friday the 13th, Part VI. Freddy is referencing this name and saying that if Jason steps up to him, he'll face his worst ever fear. This is also a reference about how Freddy is in people's nightmares) I'm killer, you should get your ass back to the Fright Fair (A Fright Fair is something that happens in some areas around Halloween time, where people dress up as zombies or monsters and make people jump. Freddy is saying that he is a deadly killer, while Jason really belongs in a place like a Fright Fair) It's your unlucky Friday when you're messing with Freddy (A reference to Jason's film series, Friday the 13th'', and how that is an unlucky day around the world. Freddy is saying that it's Jason's unlucky day because he has been put against Freddy)'' I'm gonna take your machete, and smash your face in the telly (In A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Freddy kills Jennifer by picking her up and smashing her head into the television screen. He's saying he will take away Jason's weapons and then do the same to him) So you better be ready before your dreams start turning (A reference to the song, Are You Ready For Freddy,'' that was released as the main theme for'' A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. Freddy is saying that Jason better be ready before his dreams start becoming real, and he dies in real life, referencing how Freddy kills people in his series) I'm a boiler, and I've got a gift for burning (Before he died, the parents of Freddy's victims set him on fire inside a boiler room. He then came back to haunt them and continue his killing spree. Freddy makes a joke about this, saying that his raps are hot, and he has a gift for burning, or dissing, people in rap battles) I'm killing off the cast with style, you're still learning (Freddy kills his victims in many different and inventive ways. He is claiming that Jason is still learning to do that, as he tends to often just use his machete in combat) A concerning returning of this vermin, I'm yearning (Jason has met with Freddy on multiple occasions, and supposedly killed him at the end of Freddy vs Jason. Freddy is saying that Jason should be concerned, because he still hasn't managed to kill him properly. Then Freddy says that he is desperately hoping...) For wording that comes as a challenge to my schemes (...for an actual challenge, instead of an easy win for him in this rap battle) I got my head chopped off and I'm still in your dreams! (Another reference to how he didn't properly die when he had his head chopped off. He is saying that he could still kill Jason and haunt his dreams even when he is headless) I'll drag you under the bed and shred your blood on the sheet (In A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy kills Glen by dragging him inside his own bed, which then releases a fountain of blood that covers the ceiling, before Glen comes back up and falls down on his bed sheets. Freddy is saying that he will do the same to Jason) You wouldn't even last one night on my street! (A reference to the Five Nights at Freddy's game series, where you have to survive five nights in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. Freddy is making a joke about how they have the same name, and saying that if Jason was to stay on Elm Street, he wouldn't even last one night) 'Jason Voorhees:' Calm it down Wolverine, keep your backscratchers off of me (Jason is telling Freddy to calm himself down, also calling him Wolverine as a reference to his claws. He then disses his claws by calling them backscratchers instead of weapons. This is also a reference to Freddy's alternate origin in the Robot Chicken episode, I Love Her, in which Freddy creates his glove so he can use it as a backscratcher) Your child-obsessive stalkings are your scariest monstrosities! (Jason is saying that the scariest thing about Freddy is his obsession with stalking children) You're weak compared to Jason, check our fighting film to see (Jason is saying that Freddy is weak compared to him. He is also referencing the end of Freddy vs Jason, in which Freddy ended up worse than Jason did, having his head chopped off by him. This also leads into the next line, where Jason says...) That you make me fall asleep, but you still couldn't harm me! (...that Freddy's raps and fighting skills are making him fall asleep because they're so boring and bad. He then proceeds to say that even though he is asleep, Freddy still couldn't hurt him, a reference to how Freddy kills people in their dreams) You cut yourself for pleasure, killed a hamster, now it seems (When Freddy was younger, he used to cut himself for pleasure, and he killed the class hamster in his school. Jason is saying that Freddy has a messed-up childhood. He then goes on to say..) That you're creeping into houses, giving kids wet dreams! (...that even though he is older now, he still is as messed-up as he was when he was younger. A wet dream is when a person ejaculates while they are asleep. Jason makes a joke about how Freddy kills kids whilst they are asleep, but says that he really just sneaks in to their bedroom to give them wet dreams, calling him a paedophile. This is also a reference to how kids would often be found covered in blood in their beds, because Freddy killed them in their dreams, making their bed covers wet) You're softer than Fazbear, and your style ain't groovy (Another reference to Freddy Fazbear, and how he is soft because he is a bear. Jason is saying that Krueger is softer than Fazbear is, but in a way which means he isn't very evil for a serial killer. He then goes on to mock his dressing style. "Groovy" is the catchphrase of Ash Williams, a zombie-killer featured in the six-issue comic book series, ''Freddy vs Jason vs Ash)'' What type of killer only lasts for seven minutes in a movie? (In A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy only had seven minutes of screen time. Jason says that real killers should be one of the main points of focus in a horror film, not just a slight cameo) I'll freeze you like I'm Uber, I'm colder, I'm better! (A reference to Uber Jason, the futuristic version of Jason seen in Jason X. Jason is saying that he is cold killer, and is even more powerful than his Uber form is) I'll smack your Swiss cheese face out your Elf Yourself sweater! (Jason makes fun of the fact that Freddy's face is covered in burns, and looks just like a red slice of Swiss cheese. He then pokes fun at his sweater, and how the red and green colours make him look like he is dressed in a Christmas jumper. This also references the Elf Yourself app on smart phones, where you can take a picture of someone's face and attach it to an elf's body) I took Manhattan, and now I'll take your rotten blood! (This is a reference to the film, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Jason claims that he will take Freddy's rotten blood out of his body just like he 'took' Manhattan) You couldn't do shit if you stepped out of Springwood! (Freddy cannot spread his influence past Springwood, unless he uses his daughter to get there. Jason is saying that if Freddy took one step out of Springwood, he wouldn't be able to do anything) 'Freddy Krueger:' You wanna talk crap 'bout the kids and their crannies? (Freddy is referencing Jason's jokes about him potentially being a paedophile) Remind me, who slithered up their own sisters fanny? (In Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Jason possesses his sister by slithering into her dead body's vagina. Freddy is saying that Jason can't really accuse him of being a paedophile if he has done this to his own sister) You could never beat this Slasher, resurrecting in the dark (Freddy is nicknamed "The Springwood Slasher". He is saying that Jason could never beat him, as he would just keep coming back to haunt him) How ironic, you're in a forest but you've got no bark! (Ha!) (Camp Crystal Lake is the area where a lot of the Friday the 13th films take place. It is a big forest, and forests are obviously known to have lots of trees. Bark is the tough protective outer sheath of the trunk of a tree or woody shrub. "All bark and no bite" is an idiom which means that a person talks a lot or threatens a lot, but isn't actually prepared to do anything. Freddy makes a play on words and mixes the two meanings up, saying that even though Jason lives in a place with lots of trees - with bark on - he never actually speaks, and he doesn't even have anything decent to say in this rap battle - no bark or bite) I'll shock you like I'm lightning, striking fear in those who beat you (In Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, Jason's corpse get struck by lightning, releasing him back from the dead. Freddy says that he will shock Jason with his raps just like the lightning shocked his body. He then says that he could strike fear into anyone who could beat Jason, proving himself twice as good as him) You would never know to kill if your mother didn't teach you! (In the first Friday the 13th movie, Jason's mother was actually the killer. Jason didn't start his murdering spree until after his mother had. Freddy is basically saying Jason would never had killed anyone if his mother hadn't had done it first) I'm sharper on the mic and I spit Camp Crystal! (Freddy is saying he spits sharper rhymes than Jason does. He also says that his rhymes are like crystal, using a reference to Camp Crystal Lake) I could drown your ass with a water pistol! (Jason has drowned many times in Camp Crystal Lake, thus leading to his fear of water. Freddy mocks this and says that Jason is not at all hard to drown, and he would drown even if he got shot with a water pistol) 'Jason Voorhees:' Enough with the jokes, now let's bring in the fright (Jason has had enough of Freddy's terrible mocking jokes, and says that it's time for the real scary killer to come back) Whilst this bastard madman's bumping kids in the night (Freddy has an alternate form called "Super Freddy". "Faster than a Bastard Maniac, more powerful then a loco madman" is a quote about Super Freddy. Jason is taking the two people who were compared to Super Freddy in the quote, and uses their names as a diss to Freddy. This is also a reference to how Freddy is known as the "Bastard son of 100 maniacs". The popular saying, "Things that go bump in the night", means that children are often afraid of noises at night-time. Jason is making a play on words by saying that Freddy is the thing that goes bump in the night, but says it in a way that means Freddy is actually raping the kids, another paedophile joke towards him. This leads on to the next line, by saying that while Freddy is with the kids...) I'm out killing bigger people than would ever reach your sight (...Jason is out killing much bigger people than Freddy has ever seen, another reference towards how he kills kids, who are small) You make mocks about the bark, well I've got the bite! (Ooh!) (A reference to Freddy's line about Jason having no 'bark'. Jason references the quote "All bark and no bite", and says that even though he supposedly can't talk, he still has the bite - the power in his words - that Freddy doesn't) You only kill the kids 'cause you're scared of all the others (Jason says that Freddy only kills kids because he's scared of anyone bigger than them) I've killed more people than your mother's got lovers! (At one point, Freddy's mum was locked in a room and raped multiple times by a hundred maniacs. Jason is saying that he has killed more people than Freddy's mum has got 'lovers', referencing all the people that raped her) So when I'm out on Friday with my mask thats full of fear (Jason is saying that while he is outside spreading the fear on the most unlucky day of the year, a reference to the Friday the 13th series...) I'll watch your ass drop faster than your music career! (...he will watch Freddy drop in popularity faster than his music career did. This is a reference to Freddy's Greatest Hits, Freddy Krueger's song album, which Jason says is terrible) Poll Who won? Jason Voorhees Freddy Krueger Category:Blog posts